1) Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
2) Sing/recite the jingle of each item you pass to nearby shoppers.
(Sometimes picking the item up and dancing a little jig is effective as
well).
3) Have your mother paged.
4) Follow behind a shopper, obviously putting the same items in your
cart as they do.
5) Play w/ the automatic doors.
6) Yodel.
7) Strike up a prolonged conversation w/ a cashier, leaving abruptly in
the middle of it.
8) Collect spare change from the bottom of fountains.
9) Set the alarms of the display clocks to go off at ten minute intervals.
10) Set the alarms of the display clocks to go off at the same time.
11) Answer other people's pages.
12) Redress the mannequins as you see fit.
13) Pose w/ mannequins and cardboard cutouts.
14) Play Marco Polo in the aisles.
15) Purchase one item at a time, returning to the same cashier each
time.
16) Yell "MOM!" in a crowded aisle and see who answers.
17)Challenge shoppers to duels w/ the gift wrapping tubes.
18) Using a towel for a cape, run down the aisles saying "I am Batman!
Come Robin, to the Batcave!"
19) Set up a full fledged battlefield in the toy aisle w/ all the toy
soliders, claiming you are "preparing for the Great War."
20) "Ring bell for assistance" and ask them to tie your shoe.
21) Mimic a shoppers every move.
22) Tie shirt sleeves in knots at random.
23) Toss something over the aisle.
24) Replace a manager's wall picture w/ one of the Grinch.
25) Put a can of WD-40 in someone's cart and see if they buy it.
26) Stand in the checkout line, then walk away when it's your turn.
27) Plant yourself in front of the display TVs and watch them all day.
28) Play hide and seek w/ other shoppers (whether they want to or
not).
29) Put a candy bar on layaway.
30) Use a shopping cart for your one toothbrush.
31) Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone "I
think we have a Code 3 in hardwares," and see what happens.
32) Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them off and the
volumes up.
33) Move "CAUTION_WET FLOOR" signs to carpeted areas.
34) Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only
invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
35) Try starting a pillow fight in the bedding department; if your
victim does not respond positively, simply say that you were "just
testing it out! Geez!" Follow this person around the store as they shop,
sneaking up and whacking them w/ your pillow every once in a while.
36) When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
"Why won't you people leave me alone?"
37) While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if
they know where the anti-depressants are.
38) Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.
39) Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible".
40) Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
41) Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!"
42) When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
fetal position an scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
43) Go to the food court, get a soft drink, tell them you don't get out
much and would they put one of those little umbrellas in it.
44) Go into the fitting room and yell real loud...."Hey we're out of
toilet paper in here!"
45) Take shopping carts for the sole purpose of filling them and
stranding them in strategic locations.
46) Ride the little electric cars in the front of the store.
47) When people are behind you, walk REALLY SLOW.... especially if
in a very narrow aisle.
48) Walk up to complete strangers and say "Hi! It's been so long!" See
if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
49) While walking through either the clothing or jewelry department,
ask yourself loudly "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
50) Ride one of the bicycles through the store, claim you're taking it
for a "test drive."
51) Play soccer w/ your friends using the entire store.
52) As the cashier runs your items over the scanner, stare at it
mesmerized and exclaim "Wow! Magic!"
53) Test the fishing poles and see what you can "catch" in the other
aisles.
54) When 2 or 3 people are walking in front of you, run through
them, yelling "Red Rover!"
55) Make up nonsense items and ask new employees if they carry
them. ex. "Do you have any Shnerpels?"
56) Hold shopping cart races.
57) Attempt to fit into large gym bags.
58) Attempt to fit others in large gym bags.
59) Two words: Marco Polo.
60) When someone steps away from their cart, quickly make off w/ it
w/o saying a word.
61) Relax on the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
62) Run through the store with some friends acting out your version
of The Phantom of the Opera.
Tons of Fun
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