1) Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
|
2) Sing/recite the jingle of each item you pass to nearby shoppers.
(Sometimes picking the item up and dancing a little jig is effective as
well).
|
3) Have your mother paged.
|
4) Follow behind a shopper, obviously putting the same items in your
cart as they do.
|
5) Play w/ the automatic doors.
|
6) Yodel.
|
7) Strike up a prolonged conversation w/ a cashier, leaving abruptly in
the middle of it.
|
8) Collect spare change from the bottom of fountains.
|
9) Set the alarms of the display clocks to go off at ten minute intervals.
|
10) Set the alarms of the display clocks to go off at the same time.
|
11) Answer other people's pages.
|
12) Redress the mannequins as you see fit.
|
13) Pose w/ mannequins and cardboard cutouts.
|
14) Play Marco Polo in the aisles.
|
15) Purchase one item at a time, returning to the same cashier each
time.
|
16) Yell "MOM!" in a crowded aisle and see who answers.
|
17)Challenge shoppers to duels w/ the gift wrapping tubes.
|
18) Using a towel for a cape, run down the aisles saying "I am Batman!
Come Robin, to the Batcave!"
|
19) Set up a full fledged battlefield in the toy aisle w/ all the toy
soliders, claiming you are "preparing for the Great War."
|
20) "Ring bell for assistance" and ask them to tie your shoe.
|
21) Mimic a shoppers every move.
|
22) Tie shirt sleeves in knots at random.
|
23) Toss something over the aisle.
|
24) Replace a manager's wall picture w/ one of the Grinch.
|
25) Put a can of WD-40 in someone's cart and see if they buy it.
|
26) Stand in the checkout line, then walk away when it's your turn.
|
27) Plant yourself in front of the display TVs and watch them all day.
|
28) Play hide and seek w/ other shoppers (whether they want to or
not).
|
29) Put a candy bar on layaway.
|
30) Use a shopping cart for your one toothbrush.
|
31) Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone "I
think we have a Code 3 in hardwares," and see what happens.
|
32) Turn all the radios to a polka station, then turn them off and the
volumes up.
|
33) Move "CAUTION_WET FLOOR" signs to carpeted areas.
|
34) Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only
invite them if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
|
35) Try starting a pillow fight in the bedding department; if your
victim does not respond positively, simply say that you were "just
testing it out! Geez!" Follow this person around the store as they shop,
sneaking up and whacking them w/ your pillow every once in a while.
|
36) When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
"Why won't you people leave me alone?"
|
37) While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if
they know where the anti-depressants are.
|
38) Switch signs on the men's and women's bathrooms.
|
39) Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible".
|
40) Set up a "Valet Parking" sign out front.
|
41) Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!"
|
42) When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
fetal position an scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
|
43) Go to the food court, get a soft drink, tell them you don't get out
much and would they put one of those little umbrellas in it.
|
44) Go into the fitting room and yell real loud...."Hey we're out of
toilet paper in here!"
|
45) Take shopping carts for the sole purpose of filling them and
stranding them in strategic locations.
|
46) Ride the little electric cars in the front of the store.
|
47) When people are behind you, walk REALLY SLOW.... especially if
in a very narrow aisle.
|
48) Walk up to complete strangers and say "Hi! It's been so long!" See
if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
|
49) While walking through either the clothing or jewelry department,
ask yourself loudly "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
|
50) Ride one of the bicycles through the store, claim you're taking it
for a "test drive."
|
51) Play soccer w/ your friends using the entire store.
|
52) As the cashier runs your items over the scanner, stare at it
mesmerized and exclaim "Wow! Magic!"
|
53) Test the fishing poles and see what you can "catch" in the other
aisles.
|
54) When 2 or 3 people are walking in front of you, run through
them, yelling "Red Rover!"
|
55) Make up nonsense items and ask new employees if they carry
them. ex. "Do you have any Shnerpels?"
|
56) Hold shopping cart races.
|
57) Attempt to fit into large gym bags.
|
58) Attempt to fit others in large gym bags.
|
59) Two words: Marco Polo.
|
60) When someone steps away from their cart, quickly make off w/ it
w/o saying a word.
|
61) Relax on the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
|
62) Run through the store with some friends acting out your version
of The Phantom of the Opera.
|