Dance like no one's watching, love like you'll never get hurt, sing like no
one's listening, live like it's Heaven on earth.

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.

All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whoosing sound they make as they go
flying by.

You can go a long way with a smile. You can go even farther with a smile and
a gun.

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably
be Labor Day weekend.

I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't
looking good either.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I
thought: What good will it do?

No man is worth your tears, but the one who is won't make you cry.

Accept the fact that some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the
statue.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to
myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"

Always take time to stop and smell the roses and sooner or later you'll inhale
a bee.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The optimist says "My cup runneth over. What a blessing!" The pessimist says
"My cup runneth over. What a mess!"

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with
ketchup.

Always remember this; If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they
will certainly not attend yours.

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first
time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to
a child. She must be found and stopped.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

If you reach for the stars, you'll never get a handful of mud.

Wherever you go, there you are.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to
the end of his chain and gag himself.

Late one night at the insane assylum, one inmate shouted "I am Napolean!"
Another one said "How do you know?" The first one said "God told me." Just
then, a voice from another room shouted "I DID NOT!"

Just remember; amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

Someday we'll look back on all this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
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