Dance like no one's watching, love like you'll never get hurt, sing like no
one's listening, live like it's Heaven on earth.
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Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
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All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
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I love deadlines. I especially like the whoosing sound they make as they go
flying by.
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You can go a long way with a smile. You can go even farther with a smile and
a gun.
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Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!
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If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably
be Labor Day weekend.
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I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't
looking good either.
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I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
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I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I
thought: What good will it do?
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No man is worth your tears, but the one who is won't make you cry.
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Accept the fact that some days you are the pigeon, some days you are the
statue.
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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to
myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
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Always take time to stop and smell the roses and sooner or later you'll inhale
a bee.
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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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The optimist says "My cup runneth over. What a blessing!" The pessimist says
"My cup runneth over. What a mess!"
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Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with
ketchup.
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Always remember this; If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they
will certainly not attend yours.
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A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.
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Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first
time, chances are you won't be needing them again.
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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to
a child. She must be found and stopped.
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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
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If you reach for the stars, you'll never get a handful of mud.
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Wherever you go, there you are.
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When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to
the end of his chain and gag himself.
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Late one night at the insane assylum, one inmate shouted "I am Napolean!"
Another one said "How do you know?" The first one said "God told me." Just
then, a voice from another room shouted "I DID NOT!"
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Just remember; amateurs built the Ark, professionals built the Titanic.
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Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
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Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
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Someday we'll look back on all this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
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