1) If using a touch tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the
person taking the order to stop doing that.
2) Make up a chargecard name. Ask if they accept it.
3) Use CB lingo where applicable; "10-4 Good Buddy!"
4) Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
5) Terminate the call w/ "Remember, we never had this conversation."
6) Tell the order taker that a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going
w/ the lowest bidder.
7) Give your address and exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
8) Answer questions w/ questions.
9) In your breathiest voice, tell them to stop talking about nutrition and ask if
they have something outlandishly decadent.
10) Use bonus words in the conversation; like Robust, Free-Spirited, and Cost-
Efficient.
11)Tell them to put the crust on the top this time.
12) Sing the order in tune of your favorite heavy metal band.
13) Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
14) Put an extra edge on your voice when you say "crazybread."
15) Stutter on the letter "p."
16) Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (ex: Ask for Cheesier! Cheesier! at
Domino's) INSIST they have it.
17) Ask what the order taker is wearing.
18) Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
19) Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
20) Rattle off your order w/ a determined air. If they ask you if you want drinks
w/ that, panic and become disoriented.
21) Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get them to cheer you up.
22) Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
23) Change your accent every time you speak.
24) Act like you know the order take from somewhere. "Bed-Wetters' Camp,
right?"
25) Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an
equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
26) Start your order w/ "I'd like..." A little later, slap yourself and say "Oh! No I
don't!"
27) If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "Okay, that'll be
$10.99, please pull up to the first window."
28) Rent a pizza.
29) Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
30) Ask if you get to keep the pizza box.
31) Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
32) Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
33) Say "Are you sure this is Pizza Place?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this!
You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer prove that it is, in
fact, Pizza Place, start to cry and ask "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
34) Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When
the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and yell "THAAAANKS!
GOOODBYYYEE!!"
35) Tell them to double check to be sure that your pizza is, in fact, dead.
36) Imitate the order taker's voice.
37) Eliminate verbs from your speech.
38) When they say, "What would you like?" say, "Huh? You mean now?"
39) Play a sitar in the background.
40) Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if they deliverer hide behind
some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
41) Amuse the order taker w/ little known facts about country music.
42) Ask to see a menu.
43) Quote C.S. Lewis and/or Adolf Hitler
44) Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
45) Ask if they have any idea what's at stake w/ this pizza.
46) Ask what topping goes best w/ well aged Chardonnay.
47) Belch directly into the phone, then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
48) Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
49) Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best,
Gascon!"
50) Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself and say "Where was I?
Um... who are YOU?!"
Tons of fun
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