50 Fun Ways To Take An Exam You're Sure To Fail
1) Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and
do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2) Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre! Andre! I've got the secret documents!"
3) If it's a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer w/ numbers and symbols. Be
creative. Use the intergral symbol.
4) Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5) Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers w/ yourself out loud. If asked to
stop, yell out "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking!" Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6) Bring cheerleaders.
7) Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of
this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8) Bring a Game Boy/Game Gear. Play w/ the volume at max level.
9) On the answer sheet, find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example; I refuse to answer
this question on the grounds that it conflicts w/ my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10) Bring pets.
11) Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh a relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found
me, I have to leave the country." and run off.
12) 15 minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into tiny bits, throw them in the air and yell "Merry
Christmas!" If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first copy, then repeat this
process 15 minutes later.
13) Do the exam w/ crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14) Come into the exam wearing slippers, bathrobe, towel on your head, and nothing else.
15) Come down w/ a BAD case of Turet's syndrome during the exam.
16) Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, use
Roman numerals.
17) Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest you.
18) As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19) Walk into the exam w/ an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to
get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they're
allowed to stay.
20) Every 5 minutes, stand up, collect your things, move to another seat, continue the exam.
21) Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22) Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice or true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting
things (DCCAB, BABE, etc...)
23) Bring a black marker. Return the exam w/ all questions and answers blacked out.
24) Get the exam. 2O minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Ummmmm NO!" and walk out
triumphantly.
25) Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ex; Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they're
all leaving after an hour to go drink).
26) Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for
mommy).
27) Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "The light
bulb in my head is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
28) Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
29) Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After 30 minutes, put on a white mask and running around yelling "I'm
here, the Phantom of the Opera!" until they drag you away.
30) Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would
recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
31) Upon receiving the exam, look it over, then say loudly "You don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel?
Days Of Our Lives is on!!"
32) Bring a water pistol. Nuff said.
33) From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop.
When they finally get you to leave on way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
34) Start a brawl during the exam.
35) If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary
numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
36) Come in wearing full knight's armor, complete w/ sword and shield.
37) Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed because you
have bad circulation.
38) Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam....
otherwise you're not only failing but getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam w/ a note saying "Please
use attached notes for references as you see fit."
39) When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
40) After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to a question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of
him/her.
41) One word: Wrestlemania!
42) Blow some balloons up, start throwing them around like they do before a concert starts.
43) Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
44) Play frisbee w/ a friend across the room.
45) Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Go to it for advice. Consider a small sacrifice.
46) Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, singing telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the
exam.
47) During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desk, chairs, anything you can reach.
48) Complete the exam w/ everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49) Bring a musical instrument, play various tunes. If asked to stop, say "It helps me think." Bring a Student Handbook
w/ you challenging the instructor to find the section on musical intruments during finals. Don't forget the phrase "Told
ya so!"
50) Answer the exam w/ "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor _________ Sucks"
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