1) Sing the Batman theme incessantly
2) In the memo field of all your checks, write one of the following: "Personal massage"
"Extortion payment" "My cousin's friend's brother's dog's previous owner's wife's hair
dresser" "None of your business"
3) Practice fire drills at 1 in the morning.
4) Talk in Morse Code, so you speech will consist of nothing but "beeep! bip! bip! BEEEP!!"
5)Specify that your drive thru order is "to go."
6) Develop the habit of honking instead of laughing.
7)Amuse yourself for hours by hooking up a camcorder to your TV and aiming it at the
blank screen.
8) Speak only in a "robot" voice.
9) Wear a "Help Wanted" sign.
10) Start each meal by conspicuously licking your food, announcing that this is so no one
will "swipe your grub."
11) Run up to someone and yell "De plane, Boss, de plane!" and calmly walk away.
12) Name you dog "Dog."
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
14) Go up to random people and whisper loudly to them "The truth is out there!"
15) At the movies, laugh for no reason.
16) Collect door knobs.
17) Reply to everything someone says w/ "That's what YOU think!"
18) Wear your bicycle helmet at all times. Claim it's a part of your "astronaut training."
19) Store a supply of snowballs in your freezer for summer time.
20) Practice making fax machine and modem noises.
21) Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors for "violation of
airspace."
22) Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure your listeners that it was a "real hoot."
23)Wait for the mailman at your mailbox every day.
24) Light fireworks in February at 1:10 am.
25)Make beeping noises when someone backs up.
26) Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
27) Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, see if people play along to avoid
ignorance.
28) Finish all your sentences w/ the phrase "in accordance w/ prophesy."
29) Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, telling people that you're a
"spider person."
30) Follow close behind someone, spraying everything they touch w/ a can of Lysol.
31) Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed. Claim the faster speed is needed for your
"superior mental processing."
32) Change your last name to "Aaaaasmith" for the glory of being first in the phone book;
demand that people pronounce every "a".
33) TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.
34) type only in lower case.
35) tYpE iN rAnDoM cAsInG.
36) And don't use punctuation either
37) Speak several languages in one sentence.
38) Write "X-Buried Treaure" in random spots on maps.
39) As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
40) Produce a rental video consisting only of FBI copyright warnings.
41) Holler random numbers when someone is counting.
42) Don't add inflection to the end of your sentences, giving the impression that you will
continue in a second.
43) Adjust the tint on your TV so that everyone is green. Insist that you "like it that way."
44) Give a play-by-play account of a person's every move in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
45) Wear a LOT of cologne.
46) Repeat this conversation several times: "Did you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's
gone now."
47) Inform everyone you meet of your Kennedy assassination/UFO/O.J. Simpson
conspriacy theories.
48) Ask people what gender they are.
49) Build sand castles in golf course sand traps.
50) Intentionally step in front of people reading a bulletin board.
51) Make appointments for the 31st of September.
52) Mow your lawn w/ scissors.
53) At a golf tournament, chant "Aaa-batabatabata-swing-batabatabata-SUH-WING-
batta!"
54) Recite the Pledge of Allegiance every time you pass an American flag.
55) Sing along at the opera.
56) Chew on borrowed pens.
57) Leave your Christmas lights up, take them down for 2 days in November, then put
them back up.
58) Lie about obvious things, like the time of day.
59) Stare at the static on your TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
60) Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't wanna
fall off "in case the big one comes."
61) Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
62) Practice nodding off to sleep in public.
63) Pay for your meals in pennies.
64) Tape pieces of "Sweatin to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rentals videos.
65) Change channels 5 minutes before the end of every show.
66) Repeat everything someone says w/ a question.
67) Mow half you lawn.
68) Dance w/ a broom.
69) Publically investigate how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
70) Begin all your sentences w/ "Ooh la la!"
71) Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash
register.
72) Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
73) Inform people that they only exist in your imagination.
74) Wander around a restaurant asking people for their parsley.
75) Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
76) Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
77) Ask the hostess for a seat for your imaginary friend.
78) Pick lint off of stranger's clothing.
79) Sample perfume on someone else.
80) Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
81) Select the same song on a jukebox 50 times.
82) Keep your goldfish in the bath tub.
83) Construct your own pretend "tricorder" and "scan" people w/ it; announce the results.
84) Send someone the same birthday card each year.
85) Crash other people's family reunions.
86) Signal left, turn right.
Tons of Fun
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