1) Sing the Batman theme incessantly
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2) In the memo field of all your checks, write one of the following: "Personal massage"
"Extortion payment" "My cousin's friend's brother's dog's previous owner's wife's hair
dresser" "None of your business"
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3) Practice fire drills at 1 in the morning.
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4) Talk in Morse Code, so you speech will consist of nothing but "beeep! bip! bip! BEEEP!!"
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5)Specify that your drive thru order is "to go."
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6) Develop the habit of honking instead of laughing.
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7)Amuse yourself for hours by hooking up a camcorder to your TV and aiming it at the
blank screen.
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8) Speak only in a "robot" voice.
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9) Wear a "Help Wanted" sign.
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10) Start each meal by conspicuously licking your food, announcing that this is so no one
will "swipe your grub."
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11) Run up to someone and yell "De plane, Boss, de plane!" and calmly walk away.
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12) Name you dog "Dog."
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13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
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14) Go up to random people and whisper loudly to them "The truth is out there!"
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15) At the movies, laugh for no reason.
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16) Collect door knobs.
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17) Reply to everything someone says w/ "That's what YOU think!"
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18) Wear your bicycle helmet at all times. Claim it's a part of your "astronaut training."
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19) Store a supply of snowballs in your freezer for summer time.
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20) Practice making fax machine and modem noises.
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21) Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors for "violation of
airspace."
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22) Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure your listeners that it was a "real hoot."
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23)Wait for the mailman at your mailbox every day.
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24) Light fireworks in February at 1:10 am.
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25)Make beeping noises when someone backs up.
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26) Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
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27) Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, see if people play along to avoid
ignorance.
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28) Finish all your sentences w/ the phrase "in accordance w/ prophesy."
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29) Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, telling people that you're a
"spider person."
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30) Follow close behind someone, spraying everything they touch w/ a can of Lysol.
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31) Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed. Claim the faster speed is needed for your
"superior mental processing."
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32) Change your last name to "Aaaaasmith" for the glory of being first in the phone book;
demand that people pronounce every "a".
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33) TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE.
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34) type only in lower case.
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35) tYpE iN rAnDoM cAsInG.
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36) And don't use punctuation either
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37) Speak several languages in one sentence.
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38) Write "X-Buried Treaure" in random spots on maps.
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39) As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
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40) Produce a rental video consisting only of FBI copyright warnings.
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41) Holler random numbers when someone is counting.
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42) Don't add inflection to the end of your sentences, giving the impression that you will
continue in a second.
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43) Adjust the tint on your TV so that everyone is green. Insist that you "like it that way."
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44) Give a play-by-play account of a person's every move in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
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45) Wear a LOT of cologne.
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46) Repeat this conversation several times: "Did you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's
gone now."
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47) Inform everyone you meet of your Kennedy assassination/UFO/O.J. Simpson
conspriacy theories.
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48) Ask people what gender they are.
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49) Build sand castles in golf course sand traps.
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50) Intentionally step in front of people reading a bulletin board.
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51) Make appointments for the 31st of September.
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52) Mow your lawn w/ scissors.
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53) At a golf tournament, chant "Aaa-batabatabata-swing-batabatabata-SUH-WING-
batta!"
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54) Recite the Pledge of Allegiance every time you pass an American flag.
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55) Sing along at the opera.
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56) Chew on borrowed pens.
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57) Leave your Christmas lights up, take them down for 2 days in November, then put
them back up.
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58) Lie about obvious things, like the time of day.
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59) Stare at the static on your TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
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60) Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't wanna
fall off "in case the big one comes."
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61) Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.
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62) Practice nodding off to sleep in public.
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63) Pay for your meals in pennies.
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64) Tape pieces of "Sweatin to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rentals videos.
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65) Change channels 5 minutes before the end of every show.
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66) Repeat everything someone says w/ a question.
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67) Mow half you lawn.
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68) Dance w/ a broom.
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69) Publically investigate how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
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70) Begin all your sentences w/ "Ooh la la!"
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71) Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat the complimentary mints by the cash
register.
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72) Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
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73) Inform people that they only exist in your imagination.
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74) Wander around a restaurant asking people for their parsley.
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75) Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
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76) Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
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77) Ask the hostess for a seat for your imaginary friend.
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78) Pick lint off of stranger's clothing.
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79) Sample perfume on someone else.
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80) Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
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81) Select the same song on a jukebox 50 times.
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82) Keep your goldfish in the bath tub.
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83) Construct your own pretend "tricorder" and "scan" people w/ it; announce the results.
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84) Send someone the same birthday card each year.
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85) Crash other people's family reunions.
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86) Signal left, turn right.
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